She paints her nails and she don't know

that he's going to cut his hair.

I'm giving up all my vices at once. Giving up smoking alone was pretty easy for the most part, so much so that I became too flippant with the whole thing and ironically didin't actually give up at all but became one of those irritating social smokers that only ever pinches other peoples fags in the pub and never buys them for them self-or when I did I found myself slipping back into smoking during the day or when I'm not drinking.
Well a friend of mine set a challenge, not to drink for the duration of January. I accepted and failed. I work in a bar and on completing a day shift had a half a specialist beer and a game of chess with my boss-this seemed reasonable enough and surely no-one would begrudge me a free specialist beer while competing in a very civilised game, well one game turned into two, then into three, one beer turned into I don't know how many. They were all specialist and I decided I really liked a honey beer that had just come on tap and unbeknown to me is a dangerous 8%. So I rolled in after midnight falling around and singing having given what I'm sure was brilliant advice to a colleage (also not working) on his relationship worries and made arrangements to form a band that I have no intension of following through-not because I wouldn't like to, I'd love it, but I have no musical talent. I play bass guitar, really badly, can't sing and have no sense of rythm-which really doesn't help the playing of the bass at all. Anyway I digress-as giving up smoking seemed too east to take seriously and therefore I failed, I've decided to give up EVERYTHING. Cigerettes, weed, meat-the unethical kind anyway, and drinking. I'm going to see how long I can go with out drinking anyway I don't think that will ever be a forever thing. But the rest of it means a change of lifestyle. And I'm really going to do it. I may kill someone before easter, but I am allowed to do that. You see while I was on my break the other day I was hungry, but couldn't actually have anything I fancied, all the veggie sandwiches and salads have become boring and old and I am sick of cheesey chips with chilli sauce. An automatic thought comes to mind-just have a cigerette instead, but um, I can't smoke either, the logical next step is have something else to look forward to instead of treating myself there and then to unethical sausage in batter-which I wouldn't have eaten before anyway thanks to working in a sausage factory, it's funny what self deprovation will drive you to. Perhaps a Friday/Saturday night in the pub with friends or a joint and a listen to a pink floyd album. But I have non of these options available to me anymore. At least it's the challenge I was looking for, I suppose I'll have more time and more money, maybe I can invest in a bass and some lessons and actually start that band. Who was it that said "do sober the things you said you'd do drunk, that'll teach you to keep your mouth shut"
I don't think it will teach me that, but it might just save my sanity.