Friday was fun, drinks with colleagues then to the Gladstone to see Tom Rodwell again, he never disappoints and this was no different. I stayed in the pub until the bitter end and had a little chat with Tom, he even gave me some careers advice! I wasn't drunk at all, which is surprising because I'd had wine at work then leffe in the pub and either of those on their own usually floors me. I think it might have been the slight intimidation I felt from all the directors that were there, it wouldn't be a good idea to get drunk and start shrieking.
Saturday was shit.
I was left in the cold.
I didn't get the shopping I wanted for Super Picnic Sunday.
The garage next door have a sound system that shakes the foundations of the flat.
I had to go to work.
I was working with my least favourite people.
I was foolish and gave my number to a guy that wants to take me out.
although he left shortly afterwards I know he'll come back, he's asked after me when I've not been working and now I've...
...oh, shit.
I shall send a message declining, I don't know exactly what I'll say, I'll make something up. Don't give me a reason to go, just don't I'll finish us. I know I will.
Sunday was better, I nearly told Mark what's bugging me. But I couldn't formulate the words. However I imagined myself saying it seemed to send the wrong message. I don't want him to hate me but I know from experience that it won't be my defences he jumps to. I'm not the one who started this, and I can see the sneakyness that he can't, the sideways looks checking if I'm around, the guilt that shows a hug means more than it should. It's not for me to point it out again, I'll be left with and "I told you so" and a broken heart. We went over to Mark's brothers for dinner Kelly had made home made quiche and some lovely potatoe salad. We watched too much telly and Justin and I had a sly smoke and because it was both of us Mark didn't judge me as much as he would have at home.
It was a long journey back, quite a long walk to the station at that end (and we got slightly lost which meant my idea that we should aim for the second from last train was a worthy one) then a long walk from London Bridge to home. We didn't want to go straight to sleep and so watched a bit more Red Dwarf-the later series, not my favourites. I fell asleep during the second episode and Mark woke me to ask me if I was asleep.
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