I want to go out and dance till I can stand no more, laugh till my face hurts and run because I'm so excited I have to burn off the energy somehow.
I want to look at the fit guys across the room and giggle with my friends and joke about which one of them should go with each of us. I want to be in the club when the lights come on and see which one of us really got stuck with the munter.
I want to stumble home, finding a shopping trolley on the way and jumping in for a ride. I want to wake up in the early afternoon with my face in a kebab and a friend on the sofa.
I want half an eye on the phone wondering if he will call or text, I want the anticipation of that first date and the first kiss at the end of it. I want the thrill of a touch that electrifies. I want to panic about a deadline that doesn't matter and be proud of a grade that doesn't count. I want to be late and not worry. I want to have a bad attitude that suits me. I want to paint flowers on my face and wear a skirt that's too short. I want to show the world a v sign followed by my bare arse then run away to tell someone who'll laugh and wish they'd done it first. I want to wander the streets knowing I'll find someone I know who's not doing anything and we'll find somewhere to cotch together until the rest of the gang find us-knowing where to be seen is instinctual and knowing where to look is common sense. I want my evenings to start at 15:10 again.
I want to spend my weekend wandering around (the old) Camden in a purple haze. I want to pet stange dogs and wonder what I'll be when I grow up. I want to plan trips that will never happen and dream about where I'll go when I have a camper van and a german shepherd. I want to wander the city late at night and laugh at the silly street names and marval at a set of stairs opposite St Pauls cathedral. I want to link arms with my friends and sing at the top of our lungs, what ever song is cool that week (Loser, unchained melody etc).
Would I do anything differently? Not back then I wouldn't changes would come later and it would involve more wreckless stuff not less of it. I'd carry it on longer. I'd be a bit wilder. I'd shout louder than the rest of the world put together.
Showing posts with label crush. Show all posts
Showing posts with label crush. Show all posts
Wednesday, 26 August 2009
Tuesday, 14 July 2009
My new friend
There were a few mistakes, a few light things to do and a bit of indecision that wasn't all mine for a change.
Phew, what a weekend it was.
Friday I went out with a friend of mine from the pub that I work in, we drunk Ale from Sussex and chatted. It's nice to get to know new people and Jon is one of the people that I'm genuinely interested in, rather than someone that I'm forced into knowing and have to tolerate (certain colleagues, friends of friends or friends of family members). The only real problem here is that the only time I've spent with him has been when I'm serving behind the bar or when we're both on the 'correct' side of the bar and then we get shitfaced. We both seem to enjoy the really strong pale ales so drunkardness sneaks up on us. And Jon does a disappearing act after a left hand milk stout. It's one of the things I like about him as I've been known to just leave once I've had enough-I'm not big on goodbyes when I'm drunk, they usually lead to sloppy kisses and the classic "You know you're my best friend, hic" or " I really love you man!" And it seems that even when I'm beyond remembering my own name I just know that this is not a dignifyed thing to do so I sneak off too. We had another of those nights that ends in me playing pac-man chasing a take away curry around the kitchen floor because Mark's put it on a plate but I'm too drunk to lift my head off of the floor so I push the plate forward with every bite I attempt.
Saturday we went to Ricmond park-WOW it's even prettier than I remembered, we saw the deer, the first time was from a distance, and we tried to get pictures with our phones and although we could see them quite clearly the camera picked them up as about 3 pixels on a screen of green and blue (The Rigante colours). Still it was a magical sight. We walked on through the park and came to a lake with a bench between it and an overgrown meadow so we sat and had lunch. Saw some beautiful blue mayflies and inspected a really ugly insect that landed on my ruck sack. As we got up to leave we saw the deer again, a lot closer this time and they were coming towards us. Some had anklers and they varied from 1 to 7 pointers, there were colour variations some being quite dark fawn and others quite bright whites. They were all beautiful and the anklers looked like they would feel like velvet to touch. I thought it looked sumptuous, Mark said the feel of velvet makes him itch. I shall put the pictures on here at somepoint when I play with this blog at home. They got closer and closer and I started to get a bit nervous-well they are a bit like small horses and one of them did try to eat me when we were in Wales. So we tried to back off but they kept coming, bloody hell we're beng surrounded by carnivorous deer! It all ended well when I hit one on the head with a digestive. Deer seem to like digestives-who knew?
Phew, what a weekend it was.
Friday I went out with a friend of mine from the pub that I work in, we drunk Ale from Sussex and chatted. It's nice to get to know new people and Jon is one of the people that I'm genuinely interested in, rather than someone that I'm forced into knowing and have to tolerate (certain colleagues, friends of friends or friends of family members). The only real problem here is that the only time I've spent with him has been when I'm serving behind the bar or when we're both on the 'correct' side of the bar and then we get shitfaced. We both seem to enjoy the really strong pale ales so drunkardness sneaks up on us. And Jon does a disappearing act after a left hand milk stout. It's one of the things I like about him as I've been known to just leave once I've had enough-I'm not big on goodbyes when I'm drunk, they usually lead to sloppy kisses and the classic "You know you're my best friend, hic" or " I really love you man!" And it seems that even when I'm beyond remembering my own name I just know that this is not a dignifyed thing to do so I sneak off too. We had another of those nights that ends in me playing pac-man chasing a take away curry around the kitchen floor because Mark's put it on a plate but I'm too drunk to lift my head off of the floor so I push the plate forward with every bite I attempt.
Saturday we went to Ricmond park-WOW it's even prettier than I remembered, we saw the deer, the first time was from a distance, and we tried to get pictures with our phones and although we could see them quite clearly the camera picked them up as about 3 pixels on a screen of green and blue (The Rigante colours). Still it was a magical sight. We walked on through the park and came to a lake with a bench between it and an overgrown meadow so we sat and had lunch. Saw some beautiful blue mayflies and inspected a really ugly insect that landed on my ruck sack. As we got up to leave we saw the deer again, a lot closer this time and they were coming towards us. Some had anklers and they varied from 1 to 7 pointers, there were colour variations some being quite dark fawn and others quite bright whites. They were all beautiful and the anklers looked like they would feel like velvet to touch. I thought it looked sumptuous, Mark said the feel of velvet makes him itch. I shall put the pictures on here at somepoint when I play with this blog at home. They got closer and closer and I started to get a bit nervous-well they are a bit like small horses and one of them did try to eat me when we were in Wales. So we tried to back off but they kept coming, bloody hell we're beng surrounded by carnivorous deer! It all ended well when I hit one on the head with a digestive. Deer seem to like digestives-who knew?
Wednesday, 25 February 2009
Step back in time
I wasn't sure if I was looking forward to the gig last night, I mean random bands on a weeknight with my boyfriend. So I can't do what I would usually see as the point to a random gig, get drunk enough to dance flail around a lot and lie to strangers. Plus I don't really like the noise and the headache it generates.
But I thought I'd try anything for a bit of excitement and made myself up and got myself there, after all they aren't totally random, I've looked them all up on last.fm and there was only one band that I'd rather lose my hearing than listen to, we got there half way through their set and they didn't disappoint. I tried to like them, but ended up stood there wishing I could watch my watch for entertainment. Next band were called The Gay Blades, I thought their name was inspiring even if their stuff had seemed a little emo. It was a two-piece, drummer and guitarist/front man and the energy they exuded was immense! The drummer bounced around like a Thai hooker on an inflatable castle with a grin that said he was in for a $100 bonus if he could show the audience his wisdom teeth. The front man jumped, swung his guitar and had anecdotes that made spectators think then smile. OK so the music wasn't excellent but it was far from bad and they were entertaining.
They finished and the next band set up, now I'd quite liked what I had heard from these and the front man has the brightest orange hair and sparkling blue eyes. Yes, I thought, I would-no doubt about it, I had even commented on a photo of him saying exactly that.
I went to the loo as they were setting up and there he is sitting on the stairs adjacent to main area on the way to the ladies lav, well he's not a big star or anything so I suppose I shouldn't expect him to be hidden away but wow, his hair is even brighter in real life. I swallow, hard, and wonder what's happened while I walk on to the toilet. I should say something-I don't know what to say, I don't know him. I'll think about it while I pee. He's gone, they are about to start. I rejoin Mark and lie that I spoke to him because I really wished that I had, just something so that he knew I exist. I feel 14 again, how? So I hear some of the songs that I've heard and liked and they wash over me like a tide, he's singing to me. I know that's not true but I allow myself to wallow in the adolescence that has returned to me. Butterflies in my tummy and a twinkle in my eye don't go unnoticed, so I tell Mark I seem to have developed a crush on the singer. He doesn't seem to mind and doesn't even say anything when during the next band I pull myself together and go and speak to him at the bar. All I managed was "I'm sure you've been told before, but you're really good. Are you playing anywhere in London again soon?" What a shite thing to say, I've just defined myself as seriously uncool. But he was very nice about it told me when and where their next gig is-I already knew from last.fm-and thanked me for coming up to tell him I liked the band.
Spinto band were cool, they played a song with kazoos and another one where one of them played a mandolin, and Mark said they didn't play their most successful track that I can't remember the name of. I happened to bump into someone I know from the Pup and spoke to him briefly. But I got onto the tube home with a skippety-skip-skop because I've got a new crush!
But I thought I'd try anything for a bit of excitement and made myself up and got myself there, after all they aren't totally random, I've looked them all up on last.fm and there was only one band that I'd rather lose my hearing than listen to, we got there half way through their set and they didn't disappoint. I tried to like them, but ended up stood there wishing I could watch my watch for entertainment. Next band were called The Gay Blades, I thought their name was inspiring even if their stuff had seemed a little emo. It was a two-piece, drummer and guitarist/front man and the energy they exuded was immense! The drummer bounced around like a Thai hooker on an inflatable castle with a grin that said he was in for a $100 bonus if he could show the audience his wisdom teeth. The front man jumped, swung his guitar and had anecdotes that made spectators think then smile. OK so the music wasn't excellent but it was far from bad and they were entertaining.
They finished and the next band set up, now I'd quite liked what I had heard from these and the front man has the brightest orange hair and sparkling blue eyes. Yes, I thought, I would-no doubt about it, I had even commented on a photo of him saying exactly that.
I went to the loo as they were setting up and there he is sitting on the stairs adjacent to main area on the way to the ladies lav, well he's not a big star or anything so I suppose I shouldn't expect him to be hidden away but wow, his hair is even brighter in real life. I swallow, hard, and wonder what's happened while I walk on to the toilet. I should say something-I don't know what to say, I don't know him. I'll think about it while I pee. He's gone, they are about to start. I rejoin Mark and lie that I spoke to him because I really wished that I had, just something so that he knew I exist. I feel 14 again, how? So I hear some of the songs that I've heard and liked and they wash over me like a tide, he's singing to me. I know that's not true but I allow myself to wallow in the adolescence that has returned to me. Butterflies in my tummy and a twinkle in my eye don't go unnoticed, so I tell Mark I seem to have developed a crush on the singer. He doesn't seem to mind and doesn't even say anything when during the next band I pull myself together and go and speak to him at the bar. All I managed was "I'm sure you've been told before, but you're really good. Are you playing anywhere in London again soon?" What a shite thing to say, I've just defined myself as seriously uncool. But he was very nice about it told me when and where their next gig is-I already knew from last.fm-and thanked me for coming up to tell him I liked the band.
Spinto band were cool, they played a song with kazoos and another one where one of them played a mandolin, and Mark said they didn't play their most successful track that I can't remember the name of. I happened to bump into someone I know from the Pup and spoke to him briefly. But I got onto the tube home with a skippety-skip-skop because I've got a new crush!
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