O-a-sis, on Sun-day. Short pause. At Wem-bley
Words screached by a city dweller into her mobile phone at the crossing this morning. Mark's right you know. There are goung to be a lot more arseholes at the Oasis gig than there were at the Blur gig. I can see there being a few groups of chavs on an annual outing and more people will be there for the atmosphere (a place to get hammered) as apposed to the music. As I've said I'm a much bigger Oasis fan than a Blur fan, making me the odd one out in the circle of people that I mix with and I suppose that means that I'm more at home with the arseholes of this world than the relatively normal people that I work and socialise with.
I'm not sure if that's true or if I've just had to get used to it, having been 'the best of a bad bunch' at school or college or uni. I don't know when I'll get over this feeling of being hard done by. I'm 28 and still banging on about a 'difficult start' well I should have made up for it by now really.


Sorry, this is a shit post, I'm just waffling and wallowing in a bit of self pity. Poor me!
But at least I get to see O-a-sis, on Sat-ur-day and Sun-day. At Wem-bley.

See ya there you arsehole

What a weekend!

Phew!!

Blur in Hyde park (captured awsomeness)-sunning, drinking, dancing, waiting for the toilet. Watching 'Milky' (Mark) be a celebrity and having his photo taken with all and sundry.

Pride. Outfit not quite finished, but held together with safety pins =0
Parading around west end (more civvies than last year, not as much space or appreciation). Drinks around Soho, easily the most painful time for my feet in my entire life!
Went home exhausted!

Rounders in the park, Chelmsford with the PGCE people, twas lovely seeing all of them. But I didn't get as much of a chance to actually speak to them as I would have liked. Probably something to do with chasing that ball around a field! Nice Thai meal, sun stoke and a kip on the train on the way home.

Monday-sneaky day off to tidy the flat (found a massive cockroach, now that gave me some motivation!) sat at the table smoking (naughty naughty). Rain started at about 16:00, so now I know Mark won't be going to football, he's coming straight home so I run around fabreezing everything as I have no air freshner. I think I got away with it.

I've been having strange dreams recently, from what I remember about the one I had on Monday morning, I had dark hair a straight heavy fringe two side burn type bits a little longer than the fringe and the rest of my hair tied back. I remember this so vividly because as I looked in the mirror my left eye was blank. Just white-I could see out of it, I tested it. But then it started bleeding, I was crying blood. I remember I was trying to find someone or something in a supermarket-it was something to do with a job. But no-one bothered about my eye.

Weird, I'm sure it's something to do with the smoking-which I will stop again soon...

Blur-Hyde Park-Tomorrow!

So why am I listening to Jeff Waynes War of the Worlds on Youtube?



I was a mid-late teenager when the Blur/Oasis war was going on and I've retained alot of the thoughts I had then (not just on this topic either). Blur were softer quirkier and edgier. They had sounds that wouldn't have been out of place on an old fashioned carosel being run in a fair some time in the 1950's. They were cuter, esp Alex James-my own favourite and they were the group that all the popular kids at my school prefered. I, however prefered Oasis. Now I'm sure that part of that was me just trying to be different as this was a favourite pass time of mine along with the other being complaining that I didn't fit in anywhere. They were a bit rougher, the growlly gravelly voice over whining guitars. The publicity around them was more interesting too, two brothers having a scrap-it made the fame that they had seem attainable, they were just normal people who argued witht heir siblings, Blue sung songs about kids who's Dads were bankers, mine worked in a warehouse.


The images I got from their music was more real to me.

Happy days

What you drop on the swings you tend to pick up on the roundabout.
Life's a circle and at the moment, I'm up.



"It's ok to be denied but it is not ok to be replaced"

That's enough gloating, it's Tuesday so I should probably tell you about the gig on Friday, it was Reel Big Fish and they played at The Forum, Kentish town. I don't know why but I get really anxious before a planned event, all I have to do is turn up and I know it will be a fun night but all I see are all the 'what ifs' and 'buts' all the bad ones. It's almost like a panic where I want to dig my heels in and utter those infamous words "I don't want to" they had real meaning when I was a teenager, I was stubborn as a mule and once I'd said it-even if I'd changed my mind-would never budge. Anyway, I'm older and although not wiser I'm certainly no where near as stubborn as I was then, so I go and I smile although I feel strange almost frightened for no reason at all. We got here having missed the first support band (we decided thay sounded pretty dire so that was intentional) we were in the upstairs seated area but found a row were there was standing room only and secured our place. The support band 'Suburban Legends' were pretty good, they had lots of energy which is contagious at a gig, it spreads through the audience and even the most uptight people will start to jig about-I know I was one of them (until I found the bar and started seriously drinking). They had some funny little dances and did a cover of the Lion Kings 'I just can't wait to be king' which I thought was a great song and I jumped about loving it not realising it was a cover as I've never seen the Lion King. Watching the discordant dance of the lead singer I notice he has the worst (and only) case of camel toe I have ever seen on a man! There are two girls stood slightyl behind us cracking up and I wonder if that is what they are laughing at. White trousers and camel toe, genius! Laughing makes me want to pee and the toilets at the Forum are a real treat, they smell like coconut and there is no cue, I even have a chioce of cubicle, they all look clean and have toilet paper-that's important to us girllies. I come back to our 'patch' to find Mark swaying in perfect time with two larger girls on his left holding onto the rail in front of them, this makes me smile warmly-I do love him, I realise I whinge, but he has tried so hard since that thing and he's sorry and wants us to be happy again, so we will be, we are-I'm not letting it eat away at me any more. Enough of that, again.

Let me jump forward a bit to RBF they were better than the last time I saw them, I think my panic got the better of me then and I spent most of the evening determined to not have a good time, so I watched the clock. This time I sung, danced and waved my arms about. Standing on Marks left side jabbing the air and pretending to be left handed myself-if I'm going to try it it may as well be at a ska gig-who's going to notice if I'm out of time? Somebody's started a conga line that's going up and down the top ailses so I join on the back gripping some sweaty topless teenager and kicking my legs as we head towards the back bar, the graze and bruise on my knee tells me I fell over and I think this is when it happened but my pickled brain doesn't have this information for certain. The conga turns into a ring of people doing the crazy boy dance ina big circle at the end of the bar, looking down all I see are shoes kicking in time with each other, left right left right. My floral DMs along side Converse and Airwalk and those crappy £5 pumps that seem to be fasionable now. After the song the group disperse back their friends as I walk off I say to a blonde dread locked lad "that was worth joining the conga for!" And it was.

The highlight of the night was RBF's cover of "Nothin but a good time" by LA guns-look it up, it's classic hair metal, it's my all time favourite genre and now it's being covered by a wel repected ska band. I shout the words into the crowd and I seem to be the only person in the room that knows it. I found out later that this is not so, speaking to a bloke on the tier above me we agreed that it was an awsome cover but the young audience had no idea what was going on, we high fived as I said if they played a little skid row we could empty this place, he smiled and went on his merry way with his friend probably looking for more beer.

So we left the Forum, having had a great night and not wanting it to end just yet we (I) stumble into a nearby pub. After the 6 cans of beer I've had at the gig I think I need something lighter-kopperberg will do the trick nicely. There are shelves lining the wall and Mark goes to look at the books and comes back abruptly after spotting Princess Di and Planet Earth and having read the later and having no interest in th firsy decided to call it a day. We plodded onto the tube and got off to change at Kings Cross but although we ran, we got to the platform just in time to see the last Hammersmith & City line train slink through the tunnel. Shit.

So it's an underground/overground journey home for us, but at least I know which bus to get from here. Come th morning I've completely forgotten the journey home and looking at my knee with equal confusion. Mark reminded me and we danced to songs from the lion king around the kitchen/living area. I'm not feeling to shabby considering the alcohol induced memory loss I'm suffering! The best bit of that day was hugging and remembering how and why we first told the other that we love them. On his part it was gestures and patience that paved the way, from me it was his innocence and and the excitement he held.

"When you said 'the ball's in your court' I knew I loved you"

Step back in time

I wasn't sure if I was looking forward to the gig last night, I mean random bands on a weeknight with my boyfriend. So I can't do what I would usually see as the point to a random gig, get drunk enough to dance flail around a lot and lie to strangers. Plus I don't really like the noise and the headache it generates.

But I thought I'd try anything for a bit of excitement and made myself up and got myself there, after all they aren't totally random, I've looked them all up on last.fm and there was only one band that I'd rather lose my hearing than listen to, we got there half way through their set and they didn't disappoint. I tried to like them, but ended up stood there wishing I could watch my watch for entertainment. Next band were called The Gay Blades, I thought their name was inspiring even if their stuff had seemed a little emo. It was a two-piece, drummer and guitarist/front man and the energy they exuded was immense! The drummer bounced around like a Thai hooker on an inflatable castle with a grin that said he was in for a $100 bonus if he could show the audience his wisdom teeth. The front man jumped, swung his guitar and had anecdotes that made spectators think then smile. OK so the music wasn't excellent but it was far from bad and they were entertaining.


They finished and the next band set up, now I'd quite liked what I had heard from these and the front man has the brightest orange hair and sparkling blue eyes. Yes, I thought, I would-no doubt about it, I had even commented on a photo of him saying exactly that.


I went to the loo as they were setting up and there he is sitting on the stairs adjacent to main area on the way to the ladies lav, well he's not a big star or anything so I suppose I shouldn't expect him to be hidden away but wow, his hair is even brighter in real life. I swallow, hard, and wonder what's happened while I walk on to the toilet. I should say something-I don't know what to say, I don't know him. I'll think about it while I pee. He's gone, they are about to start. I rejoin Mark and lie that I spoke to him because I really wished that I had, just something so that he knew I exist. I feel 14 again, how? So I hear some of the songs that I've heard and liked and they wash over me like a tide, he's singing to me. I know that's not true but I allow myself to wallow in the adolescence that has returned to me. Butterflies in my tummy and a twinkle in my eye don't go unnoticed, so I tell Mark I seem to have developed a crush on the singer. He doesn't seem to mind and doesn't even say anything when during the next band I pull myself together and go and speak to him at the bar. All I managed was "I'm sure you've been told before, but you're really good. Are you playing anywhere in London again soon?" What a shite thing to say, I've just defined myself as seriously uncool. But he was very nice about it told me when and where their next gig is-I already knew from last.fm-and thanked me for coming up to tell him I liked the band.

Spinto band were cool, they played a song with kazoos and another one where one of them played a mandolin, and Mark said they didn't play their most successful track that I can't remember the name of. I happened to bump into someone I know from the Pup and spoke to him briefly. But I got onto the tube home with a skippety-skip-skop because I've got a new crush!